Onion: Fruit, Vegetable, or Economics Rag?

Michael Giberson

What is the deal with Yahoo Answers? Someone asks whether an onion is a fruit or vegetable, and the voted “best answer” says “An onion is a bulb.” What?

Also, I’d be remiss in not sharing this:

Continued Existence Of Edible Arrangements Disproves Central Tenets Of Capitalism

WALLINGFORD, CT—Upending more than two centuries of free-market theory, leading economists across the globe announced Thursday that the fundamental principles of capitalism had been “irrefutably disproved” by the continued existence of the designer fruit-basket company Edible Arrangements.

According to experts, the Connecticut-based franchise, which arranges skewered pieces of fruit into displays vaguely resembling floral bouquets, has defied all modern economic models, expanding continuously for the past decade despite its complete lack of any discernible consumer appeal.

“In theory, the market should have done away with Edible Arrangements long ago,” said American Economic Association president Orley Ashenfelter, who added that one of the crucial assumptions of capitalism is the idea that businesses producing undesired goods or services will fail. “That’s how it’s supposed to work. Yet somehow, despite offering no product of any worth whatsoever, this company not only makes payroll every week, but also generates strong profits.”

“It’s mind-boggling,” Ashenfelter continued. “I honestly have never even heard the name Edible Arrangements mentioned in conversation before. Seriously, has anyone?”

Upon examining the so-called Edible Arrangements paradox, economists worldwide have abandoned many of the ideas that have dominated economic thought since the time of Adam Smith, arguing that the forces of supply and demand are powerless to explain the company’s 45-piece line of officially licensed NASCAR-themed fruit bouquets.

There’s more. Not not-from-the-Onion.

I was reluctant to dump Adam Smith et al. until the sentence about the “45-piece line of officially licensed NASCAR-themed fruit bouquets.” If true, then mind boggling.

(If you really want to know, click here, but trust me this is a red pill/blue pill moment. There is no going back and you may not want to know how deep the rabbit hole goes.)



2 thoughts on “Onion: Fruit, Vegetable, or Economics Rag?

  1. We have had two funerals in the family in the last few months (do not worry both were quite elderly and had been ill for a long time). A number of people sent us Edible Arrangements. The grapes were ok. But, flowers are prettier and real food is tastier. BTW, Harry & David went bankrupt on merit.

  2. I’m pretty sure it’s a Dennis Hopper / David Lynch film as well as an improbable decorative art. The scene where the squash, cloudberry and truffle arc falls to the melon and banana arc before a respite in persimmon and passionfruit is really hot.

    I like to think that, rather than declare a worth to calling people pretentious fruits from an extended distance, or a pattern language of NASCAR fandom.

    Contrawise, there are chocolate calling card erm…businesses, lately. Times have come where pick-up lines are really too much to start an ephemeral, deniable meta-relationship with a municipality or union or mutual fund. If you do really well in this sector, you might get an envelope from the GSA with sprouted pickled kumquat arranged in it as reward for fueling the sector’s growth.

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